Fight, my friend.

Fight, My Friend.

for the people of color.

The children dining of hunger.

The faceless.

You see on the news.

For the broken hearted.

the wars.

the pain.

Fight my friend.

For the people in cages. The children crossing oceans to have a home.

for the gay.The disabled.

The Muslim.

For the white man.

Fight my friend.

For the ones who’ll never make it.

For the ones who do.

For the drug dealers, and the cutters.

For my strength is weakening.

You know i can’t do this alone.

So fight, my friend.

And I’ll fight with you too.

Author’s note, Inspired by events in our society. Love from Jade. ANd fight for each other.

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry for abanding you.

I’ve been busy and I’ve been dealing with mental health issues but I’m trying to get back in the swings of things. But it’s been hard but a post on that later. Summer vacation is almost here so please expect more posts from me including a massive life update.

The trueth is i could issue a thousand excuses as to why I’ve been mia recently but this is the best I’ve got. I hope you can forgive me. How are you doing? Please comment down below.You have no fucking idea how much I missed you. Yeah you, the reader lucky enough to stumble upon this piece of trash.

I’ve missed this community and what we’ve built. Enough rambling from me and again, I sincerely hope you can forgive me.

Love from Jade. Stay safe and may life treat you kind.

Let’s have a chat.

Hiii kids.
    It’s become a trend on the weekend that I open a random document and instead of structuring like a good blogger should. I just let my hands write whatever comes to mind.
    I love these posts honestly. It feels like I’m just talking rather than giving a formative post on some topic  I’m passionate about.
    can you believe it’s March? It’s officially been 2 months sense the new year what the fuck? I’m speechless. At the end of this year I’ll be turning 18.
    And I’m terrified. It’s not that I don’t  want to turn 18. It’s more that when you’re 18 you’re suppose to have your shit together. And we all know that Jade doesn’t have any shit together. Also university applications are coming up next year. Yaaay. Have any of you filled your university applications yet? Was it fun? Did you have a panic attack just filling it out?
    I really need to  stop triggering myself. I need to stop thinking about being an adult and just live in the  moment. Yeah right.
    My grades are doing well I suppose. they’re not as bad as before but not where I’d like them to be either. My report card for half term is on its way!!! And  I’m so nervous because I want to do genuinely well but lalaldfsljkldflklfsljkldfskjkl. It’s like no matter how fucking hard i try I can never succeed or something.
    The other day in the middle of history I just went to the bathroom and cried for a good five minutes. I wouldn’t be able to tell you what was wrong. It was like i felt so despondent? And like I couldn’t breathe properly.   Like my head was to big and the thoughts kept spinning out of control, and everyone hated me.
    In other news  I’m creating a blog Instagram is anyone interested? I wouldn’t post pictures of myself because I’d like to stay  Anonymous. I’d follow you guys and interact with you. So tell me in the comments if you’re interested.
    Guess what? I’ve created a skype as well. So if again you’d like to get in contact then just email me at.
jaderainbow9@gmail.com I promise I don’t bite.  
    I’m probably going to spend the day procrastinating  and watching netflix. I know, i know!!! It’s a typical thing amongst us teens these days. But I need to catch up on my fave shows. Do you have any recommendations? what do you watch
    I’d like to give a huge shoutout to you guys. You’ll are kind, supportive, and just amazing. I always heard about other bloggers     saying how wonderful this community was but to be honest I thought they were exaggerating. But no. This community is beautiful, and honestly it’s like we’re one big family.  I’m the mother and Bayance is the grandma.Also Bay if you’re reading this I want you to know my computer auto corrects your name to balance. That’s your nnew name. Grandma Balance. Has a nice ring to it, don’t you think? You’re welcome.  
    I have no idea who the father would be but ahh well. We can’t have everything, now can we?
    In 15 days it’s my crush’s  birthday!!! Omg i can’t wit and just ahh. Ladldfjkslkdsfjldsflafllkdsfkldfslfdsfklfdsfjddkdslldjl. OOOO!!! Before i forget!!! I’m planning a question and answer post so please please leave some questions you have in the comments. I beg you.
    okay I’m not that desperate!!! I just want you guys to get to know me better. Or if leaving the questions in the comments is to hard then please email me!!!
    i believe in a couple of days it’ll be 2 month anniversary of this blog and I’m so excited cause I have a interesting post I’m going to do. Well I don’t have it quite ready but we’ll see.
    Let’s see on other news apparently Ariana Grande is  flying her fans out to her rehearsal before the start of her Sweetener tour.  and people on twitter are either outraged because they can’t go. Or they’re just ecstatic that they can. I would have wanted to go but school and other commitments.  
    I’m going to  create a weekend playlist at some point but I’m going to be busy with work and such so… yeah…
    Also  I’m excited to do a collaboration with Bayance. Also Bay your other name according to my computer is Beyoncé. Again you’re welcome.  And Audria. Who knows when that’ll happen because we’re all busy.  But stay tuned. IF any of you want to collaborate with me then just hit me up!!! Again I don’t bite.?  

    I really want to start a blogging project of some kind but I don’t know where to begin that. Any suggestions? But if that ever occurs then it’s going to either happen in the summer. Or late spring.  Cause i’m way too busy to do something like that now.

    I have a really exciting creative writing project that has to do with drugs, and gay people, and well… That’s what I’ve come up with so far.   

    I have no idea if you’re going to get another post from me this weekend. But i’ll try.

I really want to do that creative writing post but time is not allowing it at the moment. Just be lucky i’m writing this post for you now cause I need to be doing work for english. But that’s how much I love you.

    Also I had a weird dream that a little blind girl got kidnapped by my principal??? Like what even??? Don’t ask. I can’t. It was so fucking strange.

    Like we were all just sitting there and my principal got arrested an we had to testify??? It was a mess.

    Then I ended up in London for some odd reason and bumped in to Alex Yeah our alex. You  know the one who posts about nigerian potatoes? Yeah that one. SO we met and apparently she knew my real name? Who knows how she knew that.

    What weird dreams did you all have? Can you please buy me ice cream?

    My  hands hurt from typing so i’m going to end it here.

    Maybe you’ll get some posts this weekend. Or maybe you’ll have to wait until friday. We’ll see.

Make sure you don’t forget to submit your questions!!!  I sound like a youtuber i know. But seriously don’t forget.

    Stay safe!! And don’t eat all the pizza. I’m looking at you  Wambby. Save some for me.

    Love from Jade.  

Half way to 100

Hiiii.

Guess what? Jade’s at 50 followers!!!!!!! Aaaaah. You know what that means? It means that I’m almost to 100 followers!!!!

Me?

Jade?

it can’t be. I’m truly speechless. I can’t even. Just thank you. From the bottom of my heart thank you. I don’t care if I never reach 100 followers. That’s not why I started this blog of mine.

I started to feel less alone, and to find a supportive community of people. I started blogging because i wanted to prove to people that you can be disabled an gay. That you can be raised in a house like mine and be gay. I started because I want to make a difference.I love your comments, and your messages, I’m looking at you Gracie, and Bayance, and Adria, and Alex, and Shay, and Wambby, And there’s so many of you!!!

I just want to give a huge shoutout to Elm. thank you for inspiring me to start blogging. This is the best fucking decision I ever did.

And wow I’m actually crying. But what else is new?

I love you. Thank you. Just because I didn’t mention your name doesn’t mean you’re any less significance to me, okay? I promise you that each one of you means something to me. Never forget who you are.

Again i love you. thank you. You’re the best. Truly you are. Ugh I sound like I’m drunk. But I’m not.

But okay can you believe that like 50 fucking people are reading my pathetic posts? Like I feel sorry for you. But wow.

Belonging.

Hi guys.
    How’s it going? Good, i assume. It’s been a chill day here.I’ve done a few mundane tasks such as cleaning, and a couple pieces of writing. So you’ll prob get somewhat of a creative writing post later. We’ll see though.
     Today’s post is something I’m not completely comfortable talking about but I’m gonna try.  that’s the whole point of blogging,isn’t it? To step out of my comfort zone.
    So here goes. The truth of the matter is I don’t belong in anywhere.
    I’m the lone wolf, if you will. Sure, I have friends and I’m extremely lucky to have these friends but I’m not someone who you’d describe as socially typical.
    For one thing I’ve always challenged the system, and another aspect of it is I’ve never bother with people because I’m so used to being a burden on the system
    Have you ever been at a party and you look over and you see that girl in the corner with the earphones and sweatshirt?  You know the one who looks slightly emo and just stands there? Well that’s me.
    It’s like I have this constant voice telling me I’m a burden, that I’m not good enough. So I don’t talk to people.  Cause why bother? they’re probably not going to like me.

    Don’t get me wrong though I love having friends as much as the next person does but how can I make friends when I feel so anxious/paranoid?
    People always assume that it’s because of the blind thing that I isolate  myself. But that’s not true because if that as the case then the rest of my blind friends would be doing the same.     I isolate myself because I’m jade and it’s too complicated to be me. Let alone want to be my friend.      Here’s where the post is gonna get confusing so just hold on to your hats. By the way who came up with  that expression? What if no one has a hat to hold on to? THen what?
    Anyway… Sometimes I love being alone because it’s cathartic and i can wallow  in my cocoon of pain, and when I’m protected by pain then no one can hurt me. But other times I just wish i wasn’t like this. That I didn’t panic when meeting someone knew.  That I could just walk up to someone new and just start up conversations. Like a normal person.
    I try explaining it to people at school but they don’t get it. Cause at school I’m the loud one. You know the girl who’s always talking and laughing with friends? That’s me. But what people need to realize is that that’s a facade.
    I’m not like that most of the time, and I’ll never be.  If it was up to me I’d just live my life alone with a minimum of friends and just exist in my own  mind.
    There’s also the other side of this dilemma because you see, dear readers. As a disabled person certain tasks  I’ll always need to ask for help with. For example, if I need directions to somewhere I’ll have to ask for help. That’s not easy for a girl like me.
    I try to pick apart my brain to see what’re the reason I’m like this an I realized it’s all to do to   the mental break down i had in 2014.If that hadn’t occurred then I’d never have these thoughts. If it wasn’t for that breakdown, then i wouldn’t  be contemplating if everyone hated me, and i wouldn’t keep contemplating if i was good enough.
    The other reason that I isolate myself is I’m genuinely convinced that no one likes me.  Like no one tells me this, but I’m just so used to my pathetic of a mind telling me that I’m a burden so I don’t talk to people I don’t get close to them, and when I do find friends I’m constantly worried that they don’t like me.       Even though friends, acquaintances, and even teachers have reassured me that I’m not being a drag to the system.
    Sometimes i wish i was that girl who got constant texts and always had 30000 group chats to reply to. But then I realized that even if that was me I’d probably be hella uncomfortable and just leave the group.
    The point of this post is that I’m probably not going to belong anywhere, and you know what? I’m okay with that. Or at least I try to be. And I’m here to tell you that it’s okay for you to not belong anywhere either. Trust me you’ll find your way and i will too.
    Love from Jade.