updates.

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry for abanding you.

I’ve been busy and I’ve been dealing with mental health issues but I’m trying to get back in the swings of things. But it’s been hard but a post on that later. Summer vacation is almost here so please expect more posts from me including a massive life update.

The trueth is i could issue a thousand excuses as to why I’ve been mia recently but this is the best I’ve got. I hope you can forgive me. How are you doing? Please comment down below.You have no fucking idea how much I missed you. Yeah you, the reader lucky enough to stumble upon this piece of trash.

I’ve missed this community and what we’ve built. Enough rambling from me and again, I sincerely hope you can forgive me.

Love from Jade. Stay safe and may life treat you kind.

cherity.

Help if you can!!!!

Hi guys.

I haven’t posted in ages but I need your help with something if you can? I’ve found my future career path!!! I want to work with the charity located in the u.K. That focuses on Muslim youth that are struggling with their sexuality. My problem is i don’t know the name of the charity.

I’ve seen it on the BBC but every time i google anything I can’t find it. To my U.K. Readers do you have any recommendations? Can you help? I’ll give you a life update soon!!!

Love from jade.

creative writing.

Don’t label me.

I’m not wrong for wanting to have a girlfriend.

I’m not wrong for wanting to get tattoos.

I haven’t committed a cyn because i wear shorts. There’s nothing wrong wiht being lesbian.

Being disabled doesn’t mean that you are intellectually challenged.

Why do you judge me? make me feel inferior?

Who the hell are you for wanting to label me?

I’m tired of people judging me and making me feel less than what I am.

colaborate.

Talks about being a Muslim F.T. Bayance.

Hi kids.

Today’s post is a collaboration with our wonderful friend

BAYANCE

I’m excited because this collaboration means a lot to me and I’m glad that Bay took the time to answer some questions. Make sure you go and check out her post featuring me!!!! You’ll love it.

Anyway enjoy and comment down below what you thought.

Love from Jade. Do you have brown skin like I do? If so, do you  receive racism? 

I actually don’t. I have light skin but it’s a little tan in the summer. But oh my in 5th grade, I was insanely bronze because of Canada’s sun at the time. My teacher made a few comments towards my skin but he always teased me anyways so no, I never received racism directly.

What’s the most racist thing that someone told you?  

Nothing I can think of so far. 

 Do you think wearing the hijab should be a choice?

Government-wise, I think hijab shouldn’t be forced because then women wear it for the wrong intentions. But honestly the free clothing rule got kind of out of hand in the West and now people go out half naked so I think places who still have religion should make the dress code a little stricter than V cuts and shorts.

 What do you think of girls like me who have liberal parents who don’t force them to wear the hijab? 

My parents haven’t forced me into it either so I definitely support parents who don’t force their girls to wear it but rather encourage and support instead.

 DO you think that it’s okay for Muslim men to have more than 1 wife? 

Personally for me, this is no-no. My husband cannot marry another wife over me like sis imma file the divorce papers and I will make this clear before we get married. But it is permissible in Islam and I know some rich men in some cultures do it and the women are fine with it so that’s their choice and they’re allowed up to 4 wives. The thing is, back in the day this was more necessary due to war times and the decrease in male population. Plus, there were reasons like a woman was sick or old or couldn’t get a child. And sometimes there are cases where men cheat or there’s an open relationship so more wives was made to prevent that. 

 DO you believe in forced/arranged marriage?

Nope! I know some cultures do it but culture is different than religion and marriage against your will is never good. My parents would never do it to me and I would never do it to my children. I think it’s fine if I know a family or a man who would be good for my daughter and maybe suggest but other than that, if she doesn’t say yes, then that’s her choice! 

 DO you think that muslums should marry other Muslims? Or do you think that Muslims can marry who’m ever they want? 

Technically, Muslim men can marry a jew or a christian but Muslim women can only marry a Muslim. I know this sounds bad but usually in a marriage, the man is more in control and he might do things that are forbidden in Islam like drinking and drugs and it might harm you as well. For me, I’d prefer to have a Muslim because I know he’d share my values and we’d be on the same page in terms of raising children. Plus, I wouldn’t have to be alone when saying “yeah I can’t eat pork” at dinner invitations haha. I just think it would be much better for the woman. 

What age do you want to get married? 

25 or 26? After I’m done school and once I find a job. I want to get a kid before 30 though so yeah!

 Is there any people in your family you suspect that are gay? 

No. My brothers are super open with me and they’re 100% straight. No one in my family is and it might be because of the morals we were raised with and that my whole family are strict Muslims who definitely have a good time but pray and follow all the rules as well. They were very educated in terms of religion and things like that. 

IF you were out with someone in your family and you saw another Muslim is being  bullied for being gay would you stop it and defend them? 

For sure! I don’t agree with their action but they don’t need to recieve violence from other people. They are no less than I am so why would I treat them differently? Also by “being gay” is that like obvious intercourse with the same gender on the street type of thing? In that case, I’d step up but get an adult with me in case things get out of hand if the people are grown up.

 What would you tell your parents if one of your siblings came out as gay? 

Um they probably won’t but I’d tell my parents to stay patient and maybe to advise them. I can’t do much about it because it’s their own decision and they’ll be accountable for it but because I have an influence on my siblings, I’d definitely talk it out and listen to what they have to say. I always check up on my siblings though so they aren’t really keeping anything inside. 

 Do you think that Muslim girls should be allowed to have sex before marriage? 

No and same with Muslim boys. It’s not right and has been mentioned multiple times in the Quran not to so waiting for marriage isn’t a problem for me. Plus, it teaches you patience and commitment. I’ll make a separate post on this but great question. 

 DO you pray 5 times a day? 

Yes, alhamdulillah. 

 Does your opinion of me change if you found out that I as a Muslim don’t fast? 

Not necessarily. It is a pillar of Islam so if you miss it on purpose without a valid reason then I think a lot of your faith might be shaky but that’s not for me to judge. I’d advise you to repent and maybe start again with baby steps (eg. fasting once a week) and to build your way up from there. Plus fasting has so many benefits to the body and it teaches you patience so I don’t see why not unless you have physical issues. But everyone’s going through something so I’m not going to treat you any different. 

 DO you think that Muslim parents should be more open with their kids about topics such  as mental illness, and  LGBT issues? 

I know my parents aren’t too open about LGBT issues because everyone’s clear on the fact that it’s wrong and we were born straight in the family so I’m not sure what there is to talk about. As for mental health, my parents do an amazing job at being a great support system for us and I think parents should raise their kids with love and respect because as we grew, I knew that my parents were my rock and that I wouldn’t be the same without them. My parents don’t talk much about mental health but they definitely let us know they’re here through actions and I think other Muslim parents should love their children more as well. 

  DO you think that parents should let their kids be as creative as they please? For example, letting them becomes youtubers, and other creators?

Honestly my parents don’t care what we grow to become. They’re open to anything as long as it makes a living. My mom definitely wants us girls to work but I know some parents are a little less strict on the girl’s occupation because they can get married and the man can provide (culture-wise) so yeah, parents should let their kids follow their passion but also within limits so that they are able to support themselves. 

 What do you think of Muslim parents who choose to abandon their disabled children? Should they get punished? 

DEFINITELY! Parents should not abandon their children for no reason and especially disabled kids. When a kid is disabled, it is a sort of trial for the kid and family so parents can’t just opt out of that. Kids and marriage are a big part of life and parents must do their best to provide for their kids and pass on the future generation. I believe abandoning is a sin if there was no extreme reason behind it. 

 Do you believe in heaven and hell? 

Yes.

Do you think that gay people are going to hell for being themselves? 

Aah the way you phrase the question. I’m not the judge for who goes to hell but God warned many times to not engage in homosexual activity and if people went against that and had no fear of God’s authority then I’m not sure where they’ll end up. This happened to a generation before and God’s messenger, Lut, gave many warnings but no one listened until a natural disaster came to flip that nation upside down. I feel like it’s very normalized these days but there’s time to repent and change and not act on things that were not made permissible in this life. 

  If a Muslim girl gets pregnant in high school what should their parents do? 

This is a tough question but I think she should get married to the baby’s father right away. They decided to engage in sex before marriage so if a baby comes from it, they shouldn’t abandon the baby and try their best to raise it together. It will definitely be tough but I guess now you know why God made it forbidden. It’s a test to the whole family and as a parent, I’ll help raise the kid because it’s innocent but I’d be a little disappointed in my daughter (or son if he got a girl pregnant) because I know she could’ve done better.  

 Do you believe in abortion? 

I believe it’s wrong unless it has a physical or mental effect on the mother that may cost the mother’s life (eg. the mother is going to die in delivery or she’s going to kill herself out of depression). The mother is the priority over the fetus in this case. Other than that, it was meant to be if there was no miscarriage and don’t ever kill a child out of financial need because God ensures that it’ll be okay even with a financial struggle and I’ve heard that many times when a baby is born, the family gets blessed with a better job..etc. So you can’t assume that you can’t afford it and kill the baby. We were once a potential life too and our parents didn’t abort us so why would we take a life from someone else? 

 Finally who’s your biggest inspiration? 

My mother! She’s so strong and I would literally be honoured to be half as good as she is. And Noor Tagouri because she’s so driven and motivated and ugh I love everything she does!!

Thank you for having me, Jade. I really enjoyed answering these!!

awards.

Versatel blogger award!!!!!

Hiiiii.

Bro I’m sorry for not completing this award when i was nominated by Josh!!! Josh, man if you’re reading this I’m sorry I didn’t Complete this award sooner. I’ve been insanely busy. Inn fact, by the time this post goes up it’ll be several days in advance sense I’ve written it. But here goes the award.

I’d like to give a huge shoutout to THE BORING LIFE OF JOSH

For nominating me for the Versatel blogger award!!!! I get so fucking happy when I’m nominated for an award ldfslkjskjldfskjsdfkdsjfl. Let’s get on with it, shall we?

THE RULES:

• Thank the person who nominated you

• Link to the blog of the person who nominated you

• Share 7 facts about yourself

• Nominate 15 more bloggers for the Versatile Blogger Award

Jade’s 7 facts!!!!

1. Jade from Victorious was my first crush.

2. When ever people ask me what genre of music i like I feel panicked because i listen to all genres.

3. I hate caret juice. Like I hate it with a passion.

4. Right now i have a crush on Ella Mai the British singer.

5. I love candy!!!!

6 Despite not being able to see I have a massive addiction to shopping and fashion.

7. I watch BBC documentaries when I’m bored. Don’t judge.. You probably do it too.

Aaaaaand here youuuu gooo!!!! Loved it? Hated it?Comment do wn below.

here are my nominations.

ABOUT MY AWKWARD LIFE

…MIDNIGHT WANDERER…

CHIPS

autumngirl

The Girl in the White Shirt

And anyone else who feels up to participating in this award. DOn’t be shy!!!!

Love from Jade.

followers

Let’s celebrate.

Hiii.

Guess what? Guess what? I’m almost at 70 fucking followers??? Like how the fuck did this happen am I that interesting? I’m so speechless i can’t form any proper sentences.

So to celebrate this milestone I’ve decided to do a question and answer post!!!!! That’s right any question you might have you can comment down below and I’ll answer it to the best of my ability.

TO be honest I was going to do a separate post answering questions on my sexuality, or even growing up in a Muslim house and being gay. But that would be long and to complicated. If that’s something you’re interested in then let me know.

So below as my lovely readers you are!!! YOu can ask any question and make sure to be creative as possible. Helll you can ask me about fruits i enjoy!!! Be as creative as you wish.

Again thanks for helping me reach this milestone. I’m speechless and I’m just aaaaah!!! I love you thank you.

Love from Jade.

creative writing.

Under the stars.

Under the stars.

I kiss you:

Stroking your hair:

These pleasures::

Don’t come easily:

FOr you know we’re running out of time:

Under the stars:

I come alive:

And make love to you;

Delicately for you know helll is close:

Under the stars:

We debate our futures;

Our options:

Our plans to run:

The skye our only witness:

Under the stars the question you asked haunts me:

Do we run away from everything we’ve ever known just so we can be together?

Ir do we live here in this stifling country and shroud ourselves in silence? Are we strong enough?

Under the stars I plan;

I plot:

I pray;

For I’m planning my escape;

No I won’t stay in silence;

Author’s note, I love this writing i just accomplished!!! I want your opinions on it please please I’m begging you!!!!

I also have a question for you. Would you do it? Run away from a third world Muslim country where being gay was illegal? Would you risk you’re lives, your safety? could you make that choice?

updates.

YO girl is back!!!

Hi.

And who are you again? Jade… *everyone looks around* Nope… Never heard of her.

Okay, okay I’m sorry, okay? I have a million excuses as to why I’v been mIA recently. School being one of them. So in typical Jade fashion I’m going to be giving the reasons why I’ve been MIA. Sit back and grab a snack cause it’s a long one.

1. I attended a 2 day event filled with blind people where I felt emotionally drained, and drank to much Coffie.

I’ve been taking exams so I can be prepared for my junior year.

My mental health has been shit.

I felt unmotivated and wanted to curl up in bed for a eternity.

I feel like I’m just a generic person and there’s nothing inspiring about me so i should shut up.

And that’s pretty much it!!! It’s spring brake this week which means that I’m back for good!!! Also Josh nominated me for an award and I gotta go do that before i forget!!!

This is a quick post to tell you I’m not dead and I’m fine. And you? HOw are you? Talk to me!!! Missed me? Yeah you did. Love from Jade. Also i got hacked?? This happens to Bayance as well so I’m happy I’m not the only one but still… Like i had several posts ready for you in the draft section and i went to post and boom everyone of them were deleted??? Also i couldn’t log in for a week? ANd then i had to change my password. Uh it was a mess.

creative writing.

Unrequited.

   There’s so much i need to tell you. Where should I start? Should  i tell you that everytime i receive a notification from you i feel happy? Or should I start by telling you that loving you is pure, and  Gentle, That loving you makes me a better person. Makes me stronger, faster, and filled with vitality.

    There’s so much to say but  not enough time. SO i’ll start with this. Loving you is like the ocean. It’s beautiful, wonderful      but dangerous. It’s like fire licking the inside of my chest. But the more i try to pull away, the more i suffocate without you.

    Are we friends? Something more? Do i want any labels?   I suppose are questions i should answer myself but I’m too afraid to.

    I have dreams of you asking me to be your girlfriend and then me kissing  you. But dreams are just illusions, aren’t they? I shouldn’t be fooled but I am.   How can i explain what you mean to me? All the literary tools in the world wouldn’t be able to help me describe what you are to me.  

 I get so envious of those girls.   The women that get to call you there’s.   But I  don’t.  Selfish? Yeah a little. Do  i care? Not one bit.

    I remember talking with you and feeling like every time you text I get shot with electricity.     I wonder if you feel it too? Or is it just me Imagining things again like i usually do.

    I wish you were here. Wish i could hold you and just exist in your presence but you’re not here and it’s futile  trying to conjure up images of what it would be like if you were.

    I’m never going to give up on you and i hope you know that. But yes i think you must because of how often i tell you. I’m in love with you and I’m not afraid to say it.

 

updates.

Let’s have coffee and updates.

 Let’s have coffee and updates.

     Hiiii!!!!

    Missed me? No? Well I missed you so    you should be grateful don’t ever say I didn’t give you anything. Where the fuck have I been? Well  grab a snack and get comfortable cause we’re gonna have life updates and coffee. And if you  don’t  enjoy coffee then what are you doing with your life?

    I’m sure you’ll are concerned with my last post so let me just answer some basic questions.   

  •  I promise i’m not on drugs.

  •   I’ve never done drugs in my life time.

  •   Last week when i felt like doing drugs i facetimed a good friend and he talked me out of it.

  • I promise i’m doing okay.  

     Now that it’s over with and you’ll know i’m not some  addict or anything. I’m just going to make something   clear for everyone. IF you or anyone you know wishes to do drugs  then get help. Tell someone, A friend, family member, or even your local online counselling service.

    I know this sounds  cheesy but I’m so fucking glad that I facetimed my friend and he was able to talk me out of it. If he’d not been there I honestly don’t know what I would have done that night.    I’m going to link my own email in case any of you need to message me if you ever feel like doing drugs or cutting, or just need someone. You’ll can message me at jaderainbow9@gmail.com

    That’s one of the many reasons i choose to blog  because I don’t want any human to go through the shit I’m going through. So enough with the cheesy and depressing shit let’s get to more happy and fun stuff.

 Honestly the main reason I haven’t been able to blog is like I stated in my last post I have had zero motivation to do so. Every time I sat  down to blog nothing came to mind and i felt paralyzed and drained. SO I’ve decided that i won’t force myself. I rather disappear for weeks then give you guys content that I and you aren’t happy with. ALso guess wat? I have to collaborations I’m doing with to bloggers you might know.

The first one is  with our lovely friend Audria and the second is with the lovely Bayance!!!      Bay if you’re reading this which I think you will. Just know i got those questions and i’ll give the to you this weekend if i can. I promise!!!

    Now that i’ve gotten out of my writing slump i have so many posts ready for you guys. I have a post on … Well you’ll just have to wait and see now won’t you.    Just expect to get lots of notifications from me in the next couple of days. What do you mean you don’t have my notifications turned on? Rude!!! I’ll sue you if whatever money i have in the bank.  *robs bank*

     Another  reason i haven’t been able to blog is because my bluetooth keyboard has been broken!!! Like bro I just bought this and already it’s braking? I need to buy another on Amazon but well  you know how that is a real bitch.

So  here’s the part of the post where i tell you the shit that’s happening with my life. Don’t laugh!!!! OF course i have a life thank you very much.    Don’t be assuming otherwise!!! Lol.

  •   My mental health’s doing alright.  I don’t feel like doing drugs anymore so that’s good for something, right? Small steps you guys. Small steps.

  •  I spent 2 days at a social event filled  with blind people. I’m not going to give much away cause you know anonymity but I’m going to say that it was goalball and it took place on the east coast of the u.S. it was Intense and exhausting. Apparently i don’t get along with blind people but that’s not surprising.

  • My grades are doing better!!!!

    Those are the major events  that have been happening in jade’s life at the moment. Go ahead and lock me up yes I talk about myself in third person!!! It is what it is.

    I’ve missed you you lovely people!!! I love posting and seeing you post because i honestly feel like we’re one big family at this point. I  blog because i need a place where i can be 100 percent myself. But I also blog because I love receiving validation from you guys i love posting and seeing your comments, and your support.

IN  turn, I love when you post and i can contribute to the conversation!!! It makes me feel included. I thought that blogging would be Secluding for me. I thought that you’ll would be ableist, and homophobic, but that’s not the case. I’ve finally found my people, and my community, so don’t think i’m giving up on blogging this easily.

I think this is where i’m going to end the post!!! Just know i’ve missed you and i see all of your comments,  and messages. Thanks for staying with me and being patient with my shitty mental health. I just wanted to update you’ll and to tell you i’m not dead and I’m not on the streets!!!

And keep   on the lookout for more of my posts and maybe even a potential project?  Hmm… we’ll see!!! I love you. Thank youuuu!!!

Love from Jade.  And of course may life treat you kind!!!